You'd Think

Books fill up the wall

a guitar leans against the closet door

my piano beside it.

You'd think I'd

be happy

being spoiled.

With my mother being single

it means she had to get married

again.

It means moving away.

Suddenly being spoiled

doesn't seem so good.

This time I'm the poor kid

looked down on.

Passed by.

Banished aside.

The book store clerk

knows my name

I can't seem to remember his

my teachers say I

need to do my homework

I find reading more important.

My 'friend' invites me

to her house.

I invite myself home.

I wish to be alone.

Is that so wrong?

I wish to be back at home.

My real home.

with my real friends

Not my pretends.

She wonders why

I never take her home.

How do I say

'I don't want to'

so it won't hurt her?

How do I say

'I like being alone'

to someone who wont listen?

How do I say

'I don't like you'

to someone who wont hear it?

You'd think I'd be happy

to be away from the drama

the fights and guns.

But I miss the known,

when everyone knew my name,

the screams of my friends,

not doing my work because

I was talking

and not because

I didn't want to.

You'd think I'd be happy

to be alone.

You'd think I wouldn't care.

I wouldn't dare.

You'd think I'd be happy

if you were wrong.