My whole life I've only been told how dangerous the world is, how fragile the human body is and how quick your mental state can decay. No one has ever told me the joys of living or the feeling of a quickened heartbeat when you're standing atop a mountain you've climbed. No one has told me of a happiness so amazing you'd drive yourself insane trying to feel it again. I have never once been told that they've cried of happiness.
Life was simple to them. School, college, job, marriage, children, death. No extraordinary, no imagination,
NO LIVING. No bungee jumping, the rope might brake. No motocross, you could die. No running down the street stark naked in the middle of the night, you might get arrested. No boyfriends, you could get pregnant. No falling in love, teenagers are stupid when in love. No sleep overs, you might get raped by their father or brother.
No LIVING.
But it was their mistake. They were in the wrong. Don't blame me for something they did. Don't make me so afraid to live I cry. I want to put my life on the line, I want a record, I want to
REGRET. I want proof that
I AM ALIVE. I want proof that
I AM LIVING. I want to make mistakes I regret,
I WANT A CHANCE TO REGRET.
I want to climb to the top of Mount Everest spread my arms out and scream, "
I AM ALIVE, THIS IS ME LIVING. HEAR ME SREAM!" I don't care if I am remembered by anyone other than my family, I just want them to know,
I LIVED MY LIFE TO THE UTMOST LIMITS. I LIVED, PROVED IT, AND DIED. I HAD CHILDREN AND CLIMBED A MOUNTAIN AND RODE ON A CAMEL AND HAD AN AFFAIR WITH AN AFRICAN MAN WHO'S WORDS I COULD BARELY UNDERSTAND, I LIVED IN KOREA FOR FIVE YEARS, FELL IN LOVE, GOT MARRIED, AND BECAME A WIDOW.
I want to feel the pain of proof that I AM ALIVE.
I AM STILL HERE. I AM STILL HERE. I AM STILL HERE. I AM STILL HERE.
I WAS NOT AFRAID TO LIVE. I WAS NOT AFRAID TO LIVE.
I was NOT afraid to live.
