Just a white lie.

     "It was just a little white lie." He said with a small smile on his lips.
     "Nothing is small." She assured.
     "I believe you called her small and insignificant." His smirk was that of a cat catching a mouse by the tail.
     "Ah, let me rephrase. No lies are small....." She began to pile up the dirty dishes that sat upon the table. "Lies are like ships; they take time to build, once it gets off the coast it has a sea to across and sometimes they get caught in storms and plunge into the depths all within a matter of seconds everything can be destroyed and everyone aboard losses something or everything.
     The same applies to the boy who cried wolf. He told so many little white lies and in the end no one believed him. But by that point your ship has already sunk. It's already too late to dump cargo. All because a little white lie was told."
     "Then Miss. Waitress, how are your ships doing?" He asked as she walked away.
     She stopped before answering. "That depends," She looked at him over her shoulder "on which your talking about and whether or not it was on purpose." She smiled at him a kind of malicious hidden agenda smirk. It told him of a mystery he wouldn't want to uncover. A mystery too dangerous to be fun.
     He was better off and Miss. Waitress went missing that night.

I,

     My whole life I've only been told how dangerous the world is, how fragile the human body is and how quick your mental state can decay. No one has ever told me the joys of living or the feeling of a quickened heartbeat when you're standing atop a mountain you've climbed. No one has told me of a happiness so amazing you'd drive yourself insane trying to feel it again. I have never once been told that they've cried of happiness.
     Life was simple to them. School, college, job, marriage, children, death. No extraordinary, no imagination, NO LIVING. No bungee jumping, the rope might brake. No motocross, you could die. No running down the street stark naked in the middle of the night, you might get arrested. No boyfriends, you could get pregnant. No falling in love, teenagers are stupid when in love. No sleep overs, you might get raped by their father or brother. No LIVING.
     But it was their mistake. They were in the wrong. Don't blame me for something they did. Don't make me so afraid to live I cry. I want to put my life on the line, I want a record, I want to REGRET. I want proof that I AM ALIVE. I want proof that I AM LIVING. I want to make mistakes I regret, I WANT A CHANCE TO REGRET.
     I want to climb to the top of Mount Everest spread my arms out and scream, "I AM ALIVE, THIS IS ME LIVING. HEAR ME SREAM!" I don't care if I am remembered by anyone other than my family, I just want them to know, I LIVED MY LIFE TO THE UTMOST LIMITS. I LIVED, PROVED IT, AND DIED. I HAD CHILDREN AND CLIMBED A MOUNTAIN AND RODE ON A CAMEL AND HAD AN AFFAIR WITH AN AFRICAN MAN WHO'S WORDS I COULD BARELY UNDERSTAND, I LIVED IN KOREA FOR FIVE YEARS, FELL IN LOVE, GOT MARRIED, AND BECAME A WIDOW.
     I want to feel the pain of proof that I AM ALIVE.
 I AM STILL HERE. I AM STILL HERE. I AM STILL HERE. I AM STILL HERE.
             I WAS NOT AFRAID TO LIVE. I WAS NOT AFRAID TO LIVE.

I was NOT afraid to live.

Excuse the sarcasm.

Does it look like I need your help?

I'm perfectly fine

these tears won't stain.

What tears you ask,

oh the tears that hide beneath my skin.

They slither down when they think no bodies looking

It's fine

It doesn't hurt a bit

I'm used to it.

They come out when my hearts alone

because no one can see it.

You see it's broken and torn

missing pieces oh and how big the hole is.

I don't need your help

It's fine it doesn't hurt

it helps if you keep it bottled up

it helps if you alienate your self.