I wish I was more magnanimous than I pretend to be but all I am is a bit stoical and urbane, and I can't even do that right.
I keep trivial grudges and imagine about 20 different scenarios of revenge while you forget it ever happened. I'll slither into your spot amongst your friends and let them invite me to your pool party. And once I am satisfied I will kindly drop your friends after I make them hate you. Because I am not half as magnanimous as I pretend to be, because I cannot forgive liars, cheaters, hypocrites, and back stabbers. Whether you did it to me or the class idiot.
It probably just makes me as bad as you.

                                                I'm waiting for my autumn.

     As I finished reading a mange I began thinking about an anime I began watching but never finished. I started to think about my past before I moved. I normally have horrible memory so I didn't expect to remember much of it. But the harder I thought the more I realized I spent the majority of my time on networking sites and web chats. I guess that's what happens when your in a major city where no one really cares about you.

     At first I didn't want to move, or rather I was hesitant. I had grown up in the same city my whole life, I didn't know anything else. To go from a major city to a small podunk little town with 28,801 people and nothing to do sort of, changes you. Your friends don't try to keep contact, the people in town are so scared by a new comer they completely ignore and avoid you, and you find out new things about yourself.

     I am still kind of pissed that I moved. I think I rather be with my fake friends than be alone, but I am also grateful. If i hadn't moved I probably would have been caught up in twitter and Facebook. I would have never learned that I actually really like writing and making up stories. Surrounded with so many people it sort of forces you into situations where sometimes you have to deny who you really are to avoid getting jumped. In the small town though the only thing you have is yourself. 

     The first couple months I spent here were horrible. I had no friends, my TV connection was horrible, I was sleeping on a futon mattress on the floor, and there are not enough cell towers to let me have a single uninterrupted conversation with my friends on the phone. Left to my own devices I found books.

     The first book I bought and read was Stephenie Meyers Twilight quickly followed by her other novels. Then I began buying almost 5 books at a time and I'd have finished them before the end of the week. At one point I spent 157 dollars just on books (they were hard covers from Barns and Noble). Now a days if you asked me what the newest series on TV was or if you asked me what was the trendiest networking site, I couldn't tell you.

     Anyways, after that I found writing, and I've been consumed by it completely since the day I started writing.


     Lately though, I've been wanting more.
                                                I'm waiting for my autumn.