Oh Momma

‘Mom, mom, mom,
Mommy, mommy, mommy
Maria, Maria, Maria’
‘What’
‘I love you’
I turn around and walk away
I picture your smile on your face
I want to turn around
To see it one more time
But I fear if I do
I might break down and cry

Battered and used
By the man you loved
Watched helplessly by the blood filled couch
As the man you loved beat your child
You wanted to help me
Believe me momma I know
It’s not your fault
Why I do what I will
But the pain the man caused is just so real

Please forgive me
For what I do
Say you’ll forgive me
For what I say
There’s not much any one can do
Forgive yourself for what you think
You didn’t raise me like this
But the pain is still in your eyes
I want to make you feel safe again

I’ll take this razor and slit his wrists
Take a bat and break his ribs
Shatter a beer bottle on his head
Nail his hand to the coffee table
Cut his precious toy off and hang it above the mantel
Make him scream for help
And watch the salty tears run down his face
Make him feel what we both felt
And when I’ve finally had enough
I’ll take the gun and put it to his head

And when I’m done
I’ll take the gun and run
So you won’t feel more pain
I’ll lay your worries at rest
I’ll take this next right and jump
to my glorious death

Excuse the sarcasm.

Does it look like I need your help?

I'm perfectly fine

these tears won't stain.

What tears you ask,

oh the tears that hide beneath my skin.

They slither down when they think no bodies looking

It's fine

It doesn't hurt a bit

I'm used to it.

They come out when my hearts alone

because no one can see it.

You see it's broken and torn

missing pieces oh and how big the hole is.

I don't need your help

It's fine it doesn't hurt

it helps if you keep it bottled up

it helps if you alienate your self.